


Lord Of Regrets

by DrakeDrawer



Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Ghost has a lot of pent up anger, Might add more tags later, My First AO3 Post, My Headcannons, Other, Post-Embrace the Void Ending (Hollow Knight), Shade Lord is only Ghost, Thinking of posting a ref for Ghost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25547845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrakeDrawer/pseuds/DrakeDrawer
Summary: Ghost awakens after destroying The Radiance and cannot move on from what has happened.
Relationships: none yet
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains spoilers!  
> I just wanted to write a hollow knight fic focusing on all the messed up stuff Ghost a.k.a our protagonist sees in Hallownest and how it affects them post Godmaster.
> 
> Warning! Some characters may be portrayed as unsympathetic or bad, considering this fic will be from the Knight’s perspective and I will be projecting my thoughts onto them!

They had won.

The tainted light of The Radiance had been snuffed out.

They could finally rest.

...

...?

What?

It’s over now is it not?

They should feel satisfied...  
They should not feel at all...  
.  
.  
.  
Yet...their mind is filled with thoughts, memories of their journey...they remember their past life...  
Seeing Dirtmouth for the first time...  
Meeting people...Elderbug...Cornifer...Iselda...Sly...Quirrel...Bretta...how kind and welcoming they were...  
They felt...at peace...  
.  
.  
.  
No, that’s not true...  
They remember the infection...  
The smell of decay...  
Being deemed a threat, needed to be struck down...  
Being ridiculed, laughed at...  
They remember the death...  
They remember their siblings who weren’t given a chance at life...  
They felt pain...regret...  
No, this isn’t the end...

They remember The Hollow Knight and everyone who had hurt them...  
They had seen this feeling...  
They had seen Her...  
They knew what this was...  
.  
.  
.  
Hatred.


	2. The Junk Pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghost gets introduced to their new form.

Ghost woke up to a foul odor.

Oh.

Right.

They were in the junk pit.

They used their arms to hoist themself up...

Weird...why does it feel like...  
They saw another pair of arms in front of them. But they only had two didn’t they? They took a closer look. These arms weren’t those two nubs they were familiar with. They were long and slender with...fingers? Well, not fingers but talons. They flexed their hands, okay so they were in fact their hands. Alright, this is new but I can work with this.

Now where were their legs?

They can’t feel them.

Ghost focused on lifting themselves up and began to rise and saw they had no legs, and instead had a long aether-like tail that glittered like the stars they would see in Dirtmouth. Ghost also realized that they were floating...and far too big for the room. Part of them found it amusing how they looked like a literal ghost now, the other part was worried about their size.

How do they deal with this? Could they deal with this? They remember that void had no true shape so perhaps if they focused they could change to a size closer to that of which they were before the defeat of The Radiance. They closed their eyes began to cast the spell.

They could feel their body changing shape, it was uncomfortable but not that different from how they felt focusing with the Shape of Unn charm equipped. It eventually stopped. They opened their eyes and took another look around, realized that they were still floating, then fell.

They hit the ground with a thud, feeling similar to how they fell into King’s Pass. Observing the world around them they noticed three things.

One. They were still slightly taller than what they used to be.

Two. The land around them was coated with void.

Three. Their mask was laying in front of them, broken in two and next to what was left of the Godseeker.

Ghost had seen many bodies during their journey but what unsettled them was how the body looked similar to those they saw near the abyss: empty eye-sockets oozing with void...They had done this, hadn’t they.

They walked over to the Godseeker’s remains. While the seekers were disrespectful to them and considered Zote to be above them Ghost still felt guilty...

They felt something wet flowing down their face, and heard static, yet sad and quiet voice whimper:“Am I...crying..?” Ghost looked around to see where the voice came from, “Who said that...” it was the same voice. “Who are they talking to?”...”Wait did I just? How?” they knew that they couldn’t speak. They knew that they had ‘no voice to cry suffering’ yet, here they were.

They stood up, opened their mouth and screamed, letting the whole world know of their anguish.

Meanwhile...

Hornet and the Hollow Knight were standing at the temple, waiting for the other to move when they heard a cry, sounding almost like that of The Radiance, filled with hatred but accompanied by something else.

Regret.

Back in the junk pit Ghost realized that maybe screaming was not the best idea, as they were not aware of how loud they could be aaannd now the whole of Hallownest was probably after them...great.

Okay. Stay calm, Ghost. You won’t die...again...

Throughout their journey through Hallownest death was very frequent, including their own. 

They remember dying for the first time. They were running away from a husk guard in the Forgotten Crossroads and got hit by a shockwave, they woke up thinking that it was nothing but a nightmare but then they saw **it ******.

Ghost did not know what to make of their shade the first time they saw it. When it began to attack them they did not hesitate striking it down. However, they did not know what would happen next. They were bombarded with the memories of their prior life until their death. The slaughter of mindless bugs and the death they experienced, but worst of all was the **pain **.****

********

It hit them so fast. Vengeflys biting their soft carapace to the feeling of being crushed by the club of the husk guard and the cracking of their shell under the pressure. They wanted to throw up. They couldn’t.

********

Ghost felt sick.

********

Of all the times that they died they just had to remember the first. Dying in itself was awful, but what was worse was how they got used to it. 

********

“Okay. Try not to die again.” The sound of their shell breaking was sickening. They looked down at their hands. They had no shell. They had no soul. “Stop. You need to focus.”

This was weird wasn’t it. “I should probably stop talking to myself” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t think dying would be a fun experience.


	3. The Royal Waterways (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghost thinks back on more memories before heading into the waterways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The charms equipped in this story will actually be the charms I had equipped when beating the pantheon of Hallownest for the first time. This is actually because I’m thinking of building on abilities that the charms offer as if the charms have ascended alongside Ghost.  
> I also like the idea of there being light moths and in turn, void butterflies.

Ghost looked back at the remains of the Godseeker. They knew that there was nothing that could be done to change her fate but they still felt guilty. They knew that the exit of the junk pit would leave them two options: The City of Tears or the waterways. Their mind immediately told them that the city would be their best option, then they remembered their appearance. 

They looked like...well, not a normal bug that’s for sure. They remember many bugs being unsettled by their appearance, they could only imagine what they would think now that they looked more off-putting than The Nightmare King...okay that was an exaggeration but bugs would still be afraid of them either way. During their journey they remember that the city had quite a few survivors, and Ghost did not want to deal with great sentries, they were already quite difficult to deal with when infected. The waterways, however were empty, other than The Dung Defender. With the majority of the population of the waterways consisting of flukes, they decided the waterways would be their best bet to escape to somewhere that they would not be found...like the Abyss. 

As much as they hated the mass graveyard, they knew that it would be the best place to lay low, for at least a while. Now that they had a destination in mind, it was time to get moving. They were about to activate the monarch wings, when they noticed that they no longer had wings like that of a wyrm. Looking behind them was easier than what it would have been if they still had a shell, being made of void without shell meant no limits to their flexibility. Turning their head one hundred and eighty degrees allowed them to see the wings on their back. They were definitely monarch wings just not the royal kind. Similar to the wings they saw on Marissa, just larger, sharper and mostly pitch black, other than the white markings near the edges. They looked similar to how their soul gauge would be surrounded by the vessels they collected. The wings also had intricate markings, patterns that curled and almost looked like a tree. They reminded them of their mother, and were the same blue as her eyes.They didn’t like to think of their mother. When they first met her in the gardens they expected her to care about them, as they were her child and seemed to truly regret her actions. But then she stated what she wanted them to do and what she saw them as. 

A tool.

A tool to seal away the infection and take the place of their sibling. Just like that, the hope they they had for a mother who cared was shattered. They saw the root for what she was: a coward. A higher being who couldn’t face the consequences of her actions and hid away from the world. She had abandoned them, just as she abandoned her kingdom at the moment things went wrong. 

Well, it was time to head off. They couldn’t dwell on this for too long. 

They flapped their new wings, taking off toward the ledge that led to the maze, filled the overgrown flukes that they remembered towering over them. 

They shook themselves from their thoughts and focused on getting going. Their new wings were definitely better than their old ones, for they could actually fly. They were now in the exit of the pit, where they first jumped down from, then found the Godseeker’s coffin. Now it was just a matter of getting past the overgrown flukes in this part of the waterways.

They unsheathed their nail from their back...

Then they realized that they left their nail in the pit. They took whatever was on their back and looked at it. It definitely looked like a nail. Even quite similar to their old nail, except that it was pitch black and was covered in markings, just like an arcane egg. They remembered their fight with The Radiance. Did they summon this?

They dropped the weapon and it dissipated into smoke? No, not smoke, void. They had definitely summoned this. They wanted their old nail back though... They shook their head, they had to stay focused.

They headed into the waterways.


End file.
